literature

Insomniac ::Frerard::

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I sat up in bed, my hand automatically moving to the back of my neck to rub it. I stifled a groan: another insomniac night, they were the worst things ever. I normally took sleeping pills to get over it, but I was stupid and had forgotten to get my prescription refilled. So I was living in purgatory, running on about three hours of sleep in the past sixty hours. I was at that stage of exhaustion where your stomach clenches and it feels as if you’re hungry, but if you eat anything you know you’ll hurl.

My hair was getting long, I realized. It was poofing out, something I hadn’t expected it to do, but, hey, hair has a mind of its own. I figured that out a long, long time ago, and so far my philosophy has proven to become more and more correct as I get older. My tongue absently played with my lip ring as my eyes moved upwards, staring at the top bunk directly across from me. Ray was up there, and I could see his giant bushy hairball lying on top of a pillow. Below him was Bob (God, how perfect was that?), and above me was Mikey. Of course I was so short I could sit up in the bunk without hitting my head….

Gerard had generously opted to take the couch, since there wasn’t room to put in an extra bed when we decided to put a little sound studio in the back of the bus. It was nice, sure, but it sure wasn’t fun having to fight over who got the couch. Gerard had been couch-free for about a week, so we all turned on him and he realized he couldn’t win. So, he surrendered before he was beaten. It was kind of funny, really, that he had to sleep on the couch. I don’t know why, but it just made me laugh.

My eyes falling back to my lap, I inspected my fingers. My tattoos were visible, staining my skin darker, even through the haze of dark. We ran over a pot hole at that moment and my body lurched upwards, my head smacking against the top bunk. Mikey moaned a bit. “Sorry!” I hissed, but he had fallen back asleep.

I yawned, not bothering to cover my mouth since no one else was around. I looked over at the darkened hallway, trying to see if I could see Gerard. I couldn’t, but it was okay. I did notice a little glowing light, so I assumed he was on his laptop. Doing what? Answering fan mail or something? I put my hands down on the bed and strained my neck, trying to get a better glimpse of him. Reading fanfictions that were based on us again?

A grin spread across my face over the last time we caught him looking up fanfictions. It had been pretty late, and he had been on the couch. Suddenly, we heard a “what the fuck!?” so of course we all woke up to investigate. Turns out, Gerard had been on a website with a bunch of shit on us. “All these fanfictions are about us in high school and are about their own damn characters meeting us and falling in love with one of us!”

Bob had fallen off the top bunk, which had got me rolling around with laughter. Gerard looked truly angry, muttering, “have some individuality, people! Does it always have to be us in high school? Why not in college? And we didn’t even know we were gonna start a band when we were in high school! I only knew Mikey and Ray, damn it. And why does everyone fall in love with me? I don’t get it. Fall in love with Ray, or Bob, or someone. Not me.”

Ray, who had come off one of the bottom bunks (I had been on the top of his, Mikey on the bottom of Bob’s), had stopped to help Bob up before turning to stare at Gerard with a bewildered look on his face. “Gerard,” he had said, slowly. I was still curled in the fetal position on the ground. “It’s just fanfiction.”

Of course that just got me near pissing my pants.

He didn’t even look ashamed that he had just woken everyone up. His face was thoroughly angry; looking even funnier with the shadows the laptop gave his face. He looked like a demon from hell. “Well, do you think they’d have written it better if they had known I was going to read it? I bet they would have. You know what? I know they would have. Maybe I should comment. ‘Hello, this is Gerard and I want to tell you to have some individuality.’”

And then there was the time he read some ‘Waycest….’

It had been like, three AM or something, and even though the sleeping pill was in full effect I was still, somehow, awake. I was just kind of sitting up, on the top bunk across from where I was now, and just sitting there. Letting the bus rock me around and around, hoping I’d fall asleep. He didn’t wake everyone up this time, but he was groaning, “damn, this is making me really uncomfortable.”

So I got up, wondering what he was doing. The way he was moaning made it sound as if he was, like, masturbating or something. No offence, but, hey. Kind of have a kiddie-crush on the man, you know. But when I walked over to see if he was okay (or completely turned on, either way), he slapped the laptop down and gave me a weird look. “I came to make sure you weren’t having an orgasm without me,” I had said half jokingly, half serious. And he just kind of blushed.

“Sorry I woke you,” he mumbled, his ears cherry red. I frowned fully at him, now really curious as to what had made him so uncomfortable that he said that. I asked him what was wrong, and he just kind of shrugged.

Thus, I snatched the laptop from his hands. He squeaked a bit, standing up, getting ready to tackle me for it, but I was too quick. I opened it.

On the page was, of course, Waycest. Little did he know that meant Gerard/Mikey, the couple that never existed. He was halfway through and Mikey was sucking his own brother off.

“Whoa. Kinky,” I said, fighting the urge to burst out in laughter and collapse. “Gerard, I didn’t know you felt that way about Mikey. Should I go tell him? Maybe you guys will start a relationship or something—“

Gerard squealed at me. “No, no, no-no-no-no-no!” He shook his head so fast I thought he was going to let it just fall off his head. I snorted, plugging my nose and trying not to just die. “I saw it, on, you know. That art website that I had wanted to put my art on for a while, but we decided I was too famous to put it on and no one would really look at my art? Anyway, I went on there, looking for something to read. And I saw ‘Waycest,’ so I kind of clicked it. And…Frankie, it’s Mikey and I! And…,” he didn’t need to finish. I had read a snippet of it.

I stared at him suspiciously. “Why did you keep reading it?” I asked, giving him a playful yet malicious grin.

He glared at me. “You know how when you’re curious about something, but horrified, you just keep reading? That’s how I was.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m so sure,” I had laughed, rolling my eyes. “Go to sleep, Gee. I’m going. We’ll pretend this never happened.”

He had nodded, but with a look saying he was going to have some pretty erotic dreams about him and his brother after that. Thinking about that, lying in bed, was enough to make me flop back down and press the pillow to my face to smother my laughter. Which I wound up having to do because my shoulders were shaking so much, and my face was red from tying to suppress the laughter.

Once I had regained control over my own brain, I got up to see what it was Gerard was doing. He was as I had expected, pouring over his laptop with furrowed eyebrows. His tongue was between his teeth, as if trying to stop himself from making any loud outbursts. I stood in the threshold, watching him, wondering what on earth he was reading.

Probably realizing a presence was there, he looked up and his face paled when he saw me. “H-hi, Frank,” he stuttered. I raised an eyebrow at him and, as to not make him nervous (what was with the stuttering?) I walked over to one of the cabinets.

“Uhm,” I said quickly. “Do we have any Ding Dongs?” I walked past him and threw open one of the doors, thrusting my head in and staring into it. I wasn’t really hungry, but I’d eat if it made Gerard feel like I wasn’t spying on him. I knew what it was like to be spied on. Once or twice, I had been on the couch and on my laptop, just goofing around, and one of the guys would come and watch me until I jumped and fell off from surprise. It wasn’t fun.

Gerard’s head swiveled and I caught a glimpse of his expression. “What’s a Ding Dong?” he asked, his voice guarded.

I got ready to answer his question, but faltered. …what was a Ding Dong? Bob had made me try them once, and I had gotten hooked. I had never seen them in any grocery stores east of the Mississippi, but I sure as hell saw them everywhere west of it. I had looked and looked when we came home for a break in between touring for Three Cheers and starting to write the Black Parade, but hadn’t found them. “They’re…Ding Dongs.” I tried to make my voice matter-of-fact. “You know. Ding Dongs.”

For a moment, Gerard didn’t say anything. Then, he said, “you’re a Ding Dong, Frank.”

Snorting, I gave up my search for the small round cream filled snacks and sat down across from Gerard. I put my arms up on the table, since he was sitting in one of the booths, and put my head in my hands. He snapped the laptop shut quickly. “What are you reading now, Way?”

The question made his face go crimson. I mean, you’ve never seen a red face until you’ve seen Gerard go red. It was as if someone had dipped it in paint. Yes, that red. I knew he had been reading something pretty bad, then.

(I also noted that he had his hand over his crotch. What ever he had been reading, he was turned on. Uhm. That kind of intrigued me, and I wondered if he’d let me calm him down, or get him more worked up—I didn’t know, but seeing him like that was kind of turning me on, too. Perfect. Thanks a lot, Gerard!)

“Just. You know, fanfiction.”

“…fanfiction that turns you on?”

He looked down, his face growing redder, and then looked back up at me. He had his other hand pressed firmly down on top of the laptop, protectively holding it down; as if afraid I was going to grab it. Which, I’m not going to lie, I really wanted to see what it was he was trying to hide from me.

“I’m not turned on,” he mumbled, pressing his hand further down and spreading his fingers out a bit. I gave him a look that pretty much said ‘don’t fuck with me, I know you too well’ and he looked back down at his hand again.

Then, when he wasn’t expecting it, my hand darted out from underneath the table and I got possession of the laptop. He stared at me wide eyed, the red suddenly turning white. “Frank, don’t—”

He nearly lunged across the table, but I danced away from his grasp and flipped the laptop open before he could do anything.

The page. Oh, my God.

Instead of Mikey and Gerard getting it on, from what I could gather, it was Gerard and I full throttle making out. With, of course, no shirts on. (Damn kids, getting hornier and hornier with each passing day. I think it was partially the adults fault, but, honestly, writing stories about two men kissing half naked was just a little bizarre, if you asked me.)

I stared at it, not sure what to say. Should I squeal in ecstasy, the mere thought Gerard liking me like that enough to make me go crazy? Should I shove it away from me and joke around, playing my crush off like I normally did? Or should I just stand there, staring at it and reading it eagerly yet fearfully?

My body decided to stand there. Gerard snatched the laptop away from me, and my fingers hardly responded to it. “I-it’s not what you think, Frankie,” he spluttered. “I, I was on that website livejournal, and saw that there were links to something called ‘my chemical slash.’ So, yeah, I checked it out! I didn’t know what the fuck slash was. And the first thing was Mikey/Gerard, so naturally I skipped right the hell over it. The next was Frerard, which, I had no idea what that was. So, I clicked! And, and, and—”

I held a hand up to him. “Gerard, chill,” I said slowly. God, why the fuck was I finding his nervousness so adorable? “I’ve read a lot of Frerard myself,” I lyingly admitted, trying to keep the hint of sheepishness out of my voice. “It makes me laugh, and some of them are pretty interesting. They turn me on, too.” I stuck my chin out at his crotch, indicating he shouldn’t be quite so ashamed.

He looked surprised. “You read it too?” he asked me.

I nodded, as if he were the stupidest person ever. In reality I never had read it, didn’t even know people were warped enough to write about the two of us snogging. (If they wrote about Mikey and Gerard having oral sex, what did they write about Gerard and I doing? Having butt sex or something?) But just to make him less uncomfortable, I said that. But, there was some honesty in the statement….

And then, it was just so weird I couldn’t respond, he thrust the laptop on the table and gripped my face. His lips crashed on my own, his eyes closing as mine stayed wide. They were warm, just like they were on stage, and oh God, how I wanted my mind to shut off and sink into the kiss! But, of course, I couldn’t. Because I was a moron and I was afraid of kissing my best friend, afraid of what it would mean if I did. Even though he was the one that kissed me first, and I had only had about a bazillion dreams about the two of us necking since the day I met him.

He pulled away, and his face was scarlet again. “I’ll stop, I’m sorry, Frank, I didn’t mean to do that, I’m really sorry.”

I shook my head, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. “No, Gerard—you just…surprised me, that’s all.” He was looking down at his feet. Now I felt like a bastard, I couldn’t even kiss the guy I liked. I was really pathetic.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled again. I looked up and sighed angrily.

“Don’t be,” I mumbled back at him. Before I could convince myself otherwise, I stepped forward and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. He was kind of frozen for a second, before his hands moved up and curled around my ears, holding my face. I let my eyes slide closed and my hands snake around his waist, pulling him closer, grinding his own semi-hard self against my pelvic bone.

His lips were just, amazing. He was kissing me, I was kissing him, it was a dream come true. My heart stopped, I was sure of it; there wasn’t anything besides Gerard kissing me. Nothing in the world. Everything was just. Stopped.

And, that was, of course, when the bus ran over a huge pot hole and Gerard tumbled backwards. I yelped as he hit the ground. He pulled me down, partially from his grip on me and partially because I was pretty much attacking him. He landed on his butt, falling backwards, and I landed on top of him. On his chest, and he was kind of pressing against my inner thigh. We had pulled away and my hands were pressed firmly against the floor, and I was staring down at him.

He laughed. I laughed back, leaning down and pecking his lips. “No need to read another Frerard, eh?” I asked him, smirking.

His hands darted up and wrapped around my waist, pushing me down and making me lean completely on top of him. “Nope, ‘cause I have a real story now,” he said as he eagerly leaned up to kiss me again.

I pulled away, though, teasing him. “You’re so corny, I’m going to attack you,” I laughed.

“Go ahead.” And, this time, I let him kiss me.
Inspiration: Uhh, a few things. 1. the need to make myself laugh. 2. when I was shoving Ding Dongs in my mouth in Colorado, and my friend Danny just kind of went "...you're a Ding Dong." 3. laughing when I read a Waycest because I didn't know what it was. 4. when I tricked my friend to read a Frerard because she was curious as to what it was. and 5. because I love Frerard with all my heart XD

Comments: Goal of this was to kind of make you feel giggly and then to make you go "aw thats kinda sweet and corny but it's okay."
I wrote this in first person because I tried writing it in third, and it just wasn't working. It needed some...I don't know. Feeling in it. It was feeling pretty bland to me, so, yeah. I figured, "well, since it's Gerard reading the fics, it should be in Frankie's POV." So I wrote it in there, and I had a lot of fun because I had to kind of make myself more immature and get my "comical" side out instead of my serious side out. And, wahh-lah!
I love my terminology. THANK YOU, FRERARD. ALL I KNOW ABOUT GUYS AND CRAP I'VE LEARNED FROM YOU. -eyeroll- God, I will never be innocent again.
ANYWAY. Enjoy ;P
LALALALA.

Everyone mentioned in this belongs to themselves.
Websites: dA, Ficwad (seriously, all this site has is fanfics on them in high school! >>; ), and the infamous My Chemical Slash.
PLOTISSOFUCKINGMINE.
:heart:
© 2007 - 2024 sweetangel4eva11
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Gaypixie's avatar
That was REALLY adorable